My public self is more confined. I would say that my public self is more introverted and I do not openly speak to random people, I usually only speak to people who come up to me. I am very respectable and not very open when it comes to going to peoples houses until I become my private self with them.
When I am my public self, I usually don’t share a massive amount of information with the person and do not converse much with them unless I feel I have a good connection of getting along with that person. I sensor myself with my language and tend to use worse vocabulary around a large group of people. I also tend to be a little dumber because I lose more confidence around people I am not close with, that I share my private self with. I also hate crowds and get agitated easily.
Although it does depend where I am as my public self. I will sometimes do the same thing as my private self in public. If I am in a respectable place I will watch myself more than if I am just outside and walking around. I will curse, spit, be very blunt, and pretty open about my thoughts and opinions if I am on the street in public, just the same as when I have my private life. If I am in a friends house for the first time, I will not curse, spit, or do such actions I just listed.
My private self is very free. I will curse whenever I feel like it, spit, burp, and other such things because the people I chose to be my private self with I am more comfortable with. I won’t get in trouble for using vulgar language with my friends opposed to being at a place of work. I don’t have to be professional, I can do as I please and because of that I am less shy.
When I am with friends I am not shy and I can talk up a storm every once and awhile. I have more freedom when I’m speaking so I can say whatever I want. When I communicate with them opposed to when I’m being my public self, I can talk more openly about my feelings, thoughts, and decisions. However when I am my private self, I don’t like being around too many people and tend to get anti-social at times opposed to me always being friendly in an anti-social state of mind as my public self.
I have come to realize that my public self is really different from my private self and that I like being my private self more than my private self but there are problems with the two, yet more with my public self when it comes to a professional setting. Even though I work well they won’t get to see it until I get passed that nerve retching interview.
The problems I have with my public self is that I am not as outgoing as I feel I should be to get to know more people to eventually network with or get opportunities that other people get when they are very talkative. For instance when I go on interviews I am never sure what to say or if I say the right or wrong things, plus the fact that I am high strung it gets me more stressed out and nervous so that I don’t come off as a well spoken person. When I do get aggravated with crowds I just speed walk passed them and that’s also not a problem because I wouldn’t push passed them, if anything I would raise my voice for them to excuse themselves so I can walk passed them. If I say something about their actions, they just muffle under their breath something about me and I keep moving.
The problems I have with my private self is that I am sometimes too free and I tend to get people angry since I am very blunt and I say what’s on my mind. Being anti-social isn’t the best thing but I don’t view that as a problem.
So the conclusion is this is how I react when I am being my private self or in the public eye view and the problems I have with those parts of myself. To which I prefer is to be my private self is that I personally don’t view anything really bad about my private self because I am calm and I can be myself so nothing to get nervous or worried about.
One of the worst things is being in that public setting, especially in interviews, and not knowing what to say; or even worse stressing because a millions thoughts are flying by on how to act "the right way".
ReplyDeleteIts fun having the freedom to curse, or spit, or even just be an ass if thats how you feel at the moment (and I'm not saying you are or view yourself as one, just an example) and it's a shame we as a people have to have to sides to ourselves just to get by.
Victor
I can agree and relate to you. I am also very quiet and to my self weather it is with my private or public self.
ReplyDelete"The problems I have with my private self is that I am sometimes too free and I tend to get people angry since I am very blunt and I say what’s on my mind." I tend to be the same way. Sometimes I put my foot in my mouth. It happens though I guess when your more free to say what you want and how you want. With public I use more discretion whereas private its every man for himself. I will say this though it does make for some interesting moments and conversations. Nice job with your description overall.
ReplyDeleteWell, you could have fooled me about you not being outgoing. I think we hit it off just fine :)
ReplyDeleteI do agree about how one should act when it comes to interviews. I get all nervous and my hands get sweaty, which sucks because you have to give a firm handshake (Akwaarrddd). Being blunt is not always a good thing, but at the same time it's a million times better than being a liar and trying to sugar coat things all the time. To me, anyways.
Sketch: I agree, interviews are the worst and everyone else has a different standard of what they want from you. Freedom is the best for me even if it may get me in trouble with how I speak and such things but always keeping the respect is good also.
ReplyDeleteChasidy: Yeah, that's the one thing I'm not that fond of, being as quiet as I can be but I am becoming a little more open.
David: I never put my foot in my mouth, if I say it... I meant it (not saying its the same or different from how you are) but I don't feel as though I should take back honesty... although if I do offend someone I will apologize and become more careful.
Magaly: Yeah, definitely we had stuff in common right off the bat and you lived in my old apartment building.
ReplyDeleteYeah I agree with that fact, that's why I say things are better blunt, cause if a friend is gonna go off on you about being too honest (which im sure that want/ask you to be honest with them) than its not worth it to me, lol.
And ewww, sweaty handshakes, haha :P